Misplaced Patriotism

I got a bit of flack after posting my opinion of Fischer Motors and their new “American Sportbike^©” a few weeks ago. It seems I inadvertently ruffled some feathers and stirred-up a few American Patriots in the process... Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa. For those of you who sent-in those lovely emails in which you bestowed upon me the title of Bastard, or even Iddiut (sic.), I can only offer you a heartfelt Bronx Cheer! You guys should go to the library and try to develop your reading comprehension.

Nothing in my previous post was meant to be anti-American, nor did I imply that the new Fischer MRX was a bad bike. For what it’s worth, I think the MRX looks real nice and the specs seem to indicate that it’ll be a fast machine. What I was criticizing was Fischer Motors for using what I consider to be cheap marketing technique. Rather than use the bike itself as a the focus for their marketing campaign, they turn around and use a lame statement like “One more reason to be proud you’re American!”. Oh please, spare me! How can you call this an American Motorcycle when the most important bits (namely the engine and tranny) are Made in Korea^TM?

Some of you are even suffering from severe cases of defeatism. One such bloke asked me “how can you expect us to compete with Japan when they’ve got a bigger marketshare?” Duh – don't mean to surprise you, Sparky, but you are the marketshare! I just wish John Britten was still around; just look at what he accomplished with the V1000 – and imagine what he could’ve done with a few more years’ time.

For what it’s worth, the new Buell XBRR just might be what many have been looking for; but only time will tell. Recent problems at Daytona seem to have delayed the delivery of the V-Twin rocket.

The Kindness of (Not Total) Strangers

Although I’m better known for being a cynical bastard than a « Chicken Soup for the Soul » kind of guy, sometimes perfect strangers do things that make me want to re-evaluate my perception of modern society. Case in point is Mike. For now we’ll keep it on a first name basis because a) I’m not sure he’d like to have his full name in print on the net in some guy’s blog, and b) I don’t really know what his full name is.

Mike is from Nova Scotia, but he’s good friends with John – who’s from Ontario. I’m somewhere in the middle here in New Brunswick. Anyhow, to make a long story short, John had a touring windshield for the V-Strom that he was willing to part with and I was willing to take; but how do you ship a windshield without the hassle of packing it and paying exorbitant shipping fees? That’s where Mike comes in!

Mike was in Ontario for other matters, and agreed to take the windshield and meet me in Moncton on his way back home. This was great for me as a) it saves me money, and b) well, reason “a)” should be enough! Mike gave me a call when he was close to Moncton and we found a place to meet-up. He gave me the windshield, we had a coffee and spoke about motorcycles for a bit as he’s been a rider for awhile; not to mention that he had just bought an old Honda dual-sport for his son to learn how to ride (what a great Dad - all I ever got was Lego blocks and bicycles). He tried to convince me that his ST1100 was the ultimate sport-touring bike, and I begged to differ that the V-Strom could hold its own against any bike (i.e. typical biker "my-bike-is-better-than-yours" banter). After a few chuckles, he got back into his truck and drove off.

Now I usually balk at the whole “biker brotherhood” shtick, as it all too often sounds like yet another tried and true Harley-Davidson marketing ploy to get bored accountants and suit-and-tie lawyers out of their office and among the living – but in some instances there is a bit of truth to the stereotype (as there is to most stereotypes). Non-motorcyclists out there probably can’t understand why a good touring windshield would be important – and I don’t blame them; but Mike most likely understood, which is probably why he agreed to make a detour on his way home to drop off this piece of Lexan to a guy he’d never met before.

So here’s a big tip of the helmet to Mike for making the delivery, and to John for parting ways with such a nice piece of plastic. You guys are just another reason why motorcycling is such a great thing.

A Posterior Motive

I've finally decided to upgrade the rear-end on my bike... Actually, I should phrase that differently. I've finally decided to upgrade my bike with regards to my rear-end. You see, my gluteous maximus was feeling a little minimus of late, and I think my two-wheeled stallion's buttpad was partially to blame. The saddle on my bike just didn't seem to have the same support it had when I first bought it. It would seem this is a common problem among touring motorcyclists given the number of aftermarket solutions available.

I finally decided to go with a Corbin seat, since most of the other custom seats required either A) I go onsite to have it custom fitted to my specific buttprint, or B) that I send in my OEM seat for them to strip-down and rebuild. With Corbin, all I had to do was chose seat materials and colours... oh, and sign on the dotted line! Although I'm sure that the Corbin won't be as comfortable as a custom fitted seat, I'd be willing to bet that my worn-down OEM seat will pale in comparison.

A Blog With Two Cylinders

Ducati, long known for their Italian sportbikes regarded as a two-wheeled equivalent to the Ferrari, are moving into Cyberspace. Federico Minoli, Ducati Motor Holding President & CEO, is launching the Desmoblog, the official corporate blog for the Italian company. So far the posts have been an interesting mix of personal, corporate and mechanical-related subjects.

I've got to admit that Ducati seems to be on the right track. Just a short while ago they had serious financial problems and were on the brink of fading away, but they now seem to be climbing back up that hill. It would also seem that they've read a few chapters in the Harley Davidson book of marketing methodology. They're now trying to build brand loyalty by referring to Ducati enthusiasts as Ducatisti; a nice way of snobbing other brands. Some of their new concept models are also very intriguing and an interesting departure from the typical Ducati mold.

The blog is available in both Italian and English.

Fischer Motors (minus a motor)!

It would seem that FISCHER MOTORS are ready to put their Fisher 1 sportbike into production from a recently acquired plant in the Eastern Shore region of Maryland. When I first read this I thought "Cool! Americans will finally build a sportbike that can compete against European and Nippon crotch rockets". I checked out their website and at first it seemed to confirm my thoughts with a page heading straight out of the Harley-Davidson marketing book, "One more reason to be proud you're an American". Yeah, wave the Flag, whatever...

Unfortunately, the devil's in the details and if you read some of the fine print, you'll see that the guts for this bike are produced by Hyosung Motors and Machinery in South Korea. Which makes me wonder if these guys should change their names from Fischer Motors to Fisher Chassis and Body?

Why can't America come out with a viable option for sportbike enthusiasts? Sure, there may be a few custom-built bikes out there, but I'm talking about a full production inline-4 +120hp light-as-a-feather speed machine. I guess its true: you can't compete with Japan.

CAPE BRETON FESTIVAL OF SPEED

Well, in case you haven't heard yet, the CAPE BRETON FESTIVAL OF SPEED just might not take place after all... Sigh! I was looking forward to this weekend of road racing. Although the organisers are holding out some hope that they might still turn it around, I'd be surprised if they managed to pull it off without the support of the CMA.

I'd be willing to speculate that there's another reason though, and they're all trying to cover it up (cue X-Files theme)... THE POTHOLES! Last time I was through Cape Breton I had to stop a few times to make sure that all my car's innards were still intact. No wonder most Capers seem to drive SUV's and Pickup trucks, some of the potholes would easily swallow a Civic or Echo!

The MJ Virus

We've all seen the before-and-after pics of Michael Jackson's face. Once a young attractive black man, he's morphed himself into a hideous grey alien-looking freak. I'm just wondering if maybe we've seen those pictures a bit too often, because lately it seems as if everybody is getting a freak face put on and nobody seems to notice anymore. Please allow me to list two examples.

A few weeks ago I was channel surfing while making supper and my trigger finger froze when I landed on Oprah - not my usual TV choice, but read on. Saint Winfrey's special guest was where-is-she-now actress Meg Ryan. Now I've never been a big fan of her movies (except possibly "Courage Under Fire"), but I've always found her to be an attractive woman. Lo and behold, she's contracted the cruel MJ virus which has turned her lips into some sort of appendage that immediately reminded me of Jack Nicholson's incarnation of The Joker in Batman: The Movie. Words fail me other than: DAMN! I don't want to diminish the excellent work she does for CARE in some of the world's poorest and most underpriviledged countries, as I admire her for taking up such a noble cause. But what was she thinking when she asked the surgeon to butcher her face?

Another case in point: country legend and poster child for breast reduction Dolly Parton. Her figure makes her look like a Barbie Doll through an acid-induced haze. Her recent performance at the Oscars, although very good, was overshadowed by her deformed face. I think the producers did a good job of keeping the camera angles wide so we wouldn't see some of the ugly details. It's a shame about Dolly, although I'm not a big fan of her music, I've always admired her strength and determination as a performer considering the rough ride her life has been.

I suppose it's hard to judge without having walked a few miles in their shoes. It must be very difficult accepting that your face - a trademark to your career - is changing. But I still believe that it would be better to grow old gracefully, than to slip into the abyss of being a comedian's punchline.

"Thou who hast the fatal gist of beauty." - Lord Byron

Noggin Protection

A friend of mine recently boasted that his helmet had saved his life three times already. I congratulated him on chosing to use the proper gear and then listened contently as he recalled all three occoasions in overly detailed regala. What surprised me was when he finished his last story with: "...best darn helmet I've ever had. Wouldn't change it for the world!". Whoah Nelly, back up the wagon here for a second. Yup, you heard correctly - he's been using the same helmet for close to a decade even after three seperate impacts. That's a big NO-NO!

Of course, we got into a heated discussion about microscopic fractures and compromised protection due to inability of foam to absorb impact. Then he threw me an argument that was like a slap in the face with a rotten cod: "But mine's SNELL, so it's designed to stand up to stuff like that!" Duh, sorry to bust your bubble, Bubba - but it ain't so! Its a real shame that helmet manufacturers have been using the SNELL helmet standard as a marketing punchline for all these years (much in the same way that petroleum companies bastardize Octane ratings - but that's another story). The SNELL standard has been heralded as the holy-grail of helmet safety because it requires a much harder shell that won't crumble as easily as a helmet built according to the US DOT standard. But marketing hype can only go so far.

A few months ago Motorcyclist magazine published a daring report on motorcycle helmets that blew the SNELL standard out of the water. What was so great about their report was that the lowly DOT standard, often considered dangerous by many snob motorcyclists, came out as the winner in many crash categories. Motorcyclist even ended up losing some advertising bucks when some of the big expensive manufacturers got peeved that they's award a "Best Helmet" label to an inexpensive $100 helmet by Z1R.

Essentially, a good helmet will only do its job once by crumbling to absorb much of the impact. A helmet that has too rigid a shell will transfer much of the energy from the impact to your cranium - not a good thing. Think of it in much the same matter as automobile crumple zones; sure your car may look like crap after playing chicken with a telephone pole, but you're still there to tell the story.

Oh, and another thing: most helmet manufacturers suggest that you replace your lid every three years. Considering that some of the safest helmets out there (according to Motorcyclist) only cost a few fingers over $100, why not?

"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." - Steve Martin

Luggage Limits

Motorcycles are a great method of travel, much moreso than the automobile or train, or even aeroplane. Covering miles on a motorcycle is as much a journey of discovery as it is simply displacing yourself from Point A to Point B. You get a panoramic view of the road and countryside that no automobile can offer. The sights and smells (yes, even the bad ones) are ever present for your enjoyment. In short, its the most rewarding way that I've found to travel.

There is, however, one caveat: Minimal luggage space. Although many of us cling tooth and nail onto the ideal image of the lone traveling motorcyclist with little more than a sleeping bag and knapsack tied to his rear seat with a few bungee cords, in real life it simply doesn't work. At least, not for me! I've gotten rather spoiled by the evolution of man, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I like a fresh change of clothes after a long day in the saddle, all to make me presentable enough so that I may discover what any given town's culinary artists have to offer. I've also grown quite fond of all my digital gadgets and things. After all, what's the use of buying a video camera or digicam if I'm going to leave it at home when I travel?

All these wants and needs are doubled due to my most important accessory when travelling: my wife! Yes, she also has a list of "favourite things" that she can't bare to leave behind, regardless of the mode of transportation. So you see, the two sidecases, topcase and tankbag are usually full to capacity when we head out for a few days of two-wheeled discovery. I had considered getting larger sidecases, but at best they would only add 8 or 10 liters capacity to my current rig, not to mention that they'd look a bit too wide. A friend of mine once commented about a ZX-10 Ninja with Givi sidecases that it "looks like its got a bad case of hemorroids"! I really needed to find a more palatable alternative.

The obvious solution was the one I had been trying to avoid: a trailer. Most motorcycles I had seen pulling a trailer were geriatric luxo-barges (Goldwing et al.) - not exactly my cup 'o tea. Add to that the fact that most trailers seem to have a greater utilitarian leaning than aesthetic (i.e. they're butt-ugly), and you can start to figure out why I'd been trying to mentally block them out of my mind. Enter the mono-wheeled trailer!

The first mono-wheeled trailer I heard of was the Cyclops, which strangely resembles the small trailers that I see many long-distance cyclists tugging along. Although I wasn't too crazy about the look of it, the idea of having a trailer that didn't affect the motorcycle's handling appealed to me. A friend then directed me to the Uni-Go website. This is a small mono-wheeled trailer that (used to) be made in New Zealand. The biggest advantage to the Uni-Go was it's looks! It was simply stunning. The downside, however, was its price: $2,500 or more for a motorcycle trailer is simply, in my mind, ludicrous. I'm not saying it's not worth that much - just that I'm too frugal to pay that amount. I just couldn't bring myself to pay an accessory one quarter the cost of my motorcycle!

Enter the Monogo. Michel Vachon of Granby, Québec has found a very ingenious way to build a mono-wheeled trailer while still keeping costs low. Rather than start from scratch and build the whole trailer from the ground-up, he decided to use parts that were readily available and, best of all, relatively inexpensive. The body of the Monogo trailer is actually a car-top luggage carrier (i.e. a Thule box). By using this, he doesn't have to fabricate the body out of fiberglass or steel. He simply added a lightweight suspension, a simple hitch, and voilà ! You've got a very useful and nice looking trailer for under $1k! This just might end up being the solution to my dilemma.

"Riches do not consist in the possession of treasures, but in the use made of them” - Napoleon Bonaparte

Everyday Horror Story

Read the following entry on CanyonChasers and it scared me.

Is 25 Years Without Training Acceptable? - Canyonchasers News

It really got me thinking (as always - a dangerous thing) about how many bad drivers share the road with us everyday. The story that Dave relates is, if anything, all too common. How many times in the last few weeks or so have you been witness to somebody running a red light, or cutting somebody off, or narrowly missing a pedestrian? The list goes on and on.

Dave raises some controversial issues; like the privilege to drive for physically or mentally impaired persons. Since we're being controversial, I'd like to raise a few eyebrows myself! Should we require mandatory driver testing at prescribed intervals? I think so. I also think that it should apply to all drivers, not just seniors, or juniors, or handicapped, etc. Every five years or so, we should be obligated to do a written test, and pass a driving exam. If you fail, you go out and get a good pair of walking shoes.

Anyhow, I'm sure my thoughts will piss-off quite a few who believe it's their "God given right" to drive (or ride) like a complete idiot. Here's news Bubba: if it was your right, you wouldn't need a licence now would you?