Do One Thing Right.

Why do people have this need to branch out into other disciplines? The running gag is that most actors really want to direct, which isn't a very big stretch as these are very intimately related professions. But why do some actors insist on trying their hand at singing? At the risk of offending her legion of fans, I have to say that Lindsay Lohan can't sing to save her life. Her very poor cover of Stevie Nicks' Edge of Seventeen at the American Music Awards had me rolling with laughter! Oh well, at least she had the guts to try and sing it live; unlike Hilary Duff (another child actor) who seemed to be lip-syncing the whole thing. Whatever, I'm going way off topic here!

The purpose of this entry was actually to crack a few jokes at the expense of ARMEC... Yup, they're the sidecar manufacturer that I mentioned in a previous post. They've got a great reputation as a sidecar manufacturer, where they've created some interesting new concepts (like a sidecar that still allows the motorcycle to lean in corners). Seems that they also have illusions of grandeur with their 3-wheeled "City-Mobil" prototype vehicle. Basically, it's a front-wheel-drive scooter with two wheels in the rear. The front "cockpit" area is attached to the rear through some kind of hinge that allows the front section to lean in corners while the rear wheel remain strait.

What is it with aftermarket motorcycle accessory manufacturers wanting to come out with a "revolutionary new means of transportation"? Some of you may recall Corbin's Sparrow electric vehicle (another 3-wheeled wonder), or even BMW's C1 scooter...

I guess one exception to the rule is Campagna's T-Rex, although this is billed more as an exotic performance vehicle than some ecological marvel. It's an interesting three-wheeler, to say the least. But with a base price nearing the $50K mark, this clearly isn't for everybody.

"Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." - Henry Van Dyke

Had To Start Moderating Comments :-(

Greetings all!

Just wanted to let all cybernauts and bloggers know that I've now switched-on the moderation tool for comments. It really sucks that I had to, but unfortunately I'd been getting tons of spam comments from idiots trying to sell HD accessories or cheap software. Rest assured, if you post a comment that has to do with the blog (good or bad), it will get published ad verbatim.

Sidecars: To Lean, Or Not To Lean?

I've been doing a bit of research lately on ways to add luggage space to my bike. I've already got hard luggage comprising of sidecases (Kappa K40 - 40 liters each) and a topcase (Givi E450 - 45 liters), add to this an expandable tankbag that holds up to 30 liters and it adds up to a total luggage capacity of 155 liters. Now I can almost hear alot of your moans that "if you need more space, get a car!" Although I hate passing the blame, the simple truth is that my SO requires more space than I. When I'm riding alone, I can easily make due with what's on the bike now - but when my wife tags along, we run out of space pretty darn quick!

One of the first things I checked out were trailers. I didn't like the idea of towing something that didn't lean, so I looked into the selection of single-wheel trailers. The most popular probably being the Uni-Go; a small (140 liter) single wheeled trailer with great styling and nice features being made over in New Zealand. Unfortunately, it costs an arm and a leg (which can be a problem when shifting); with the base "Touring" model ringing-in at over $3,000 CAN. I kept searching until finally I came upon the Monogo trailer manufactured by a small company in Quebec; only half-a-day's ride from home. These guys took an interesting approach; rather than re-invent the wheel and build a trailer from scratch, they used a car-top luggage box (i.e. Thule), added a wheel and a hitch and voilà! The great thing about using existing parts is that they can manufacture them for a very reasonable price: $995 CAN. Another very good thing is that it's very light (54 lbs) and the wheel is positioned close to the middle, which means very little weight on the hitch (tongue weight). Monogo isn't the only company to use a luggage box, there's also the Piggy-Backer out of South Carolina, but it's a two-wheeled rig.

I was almost ready to put down a deposit on the trailer when a friend of mine mentioned sidecars. At first, I shrugged and laughed because the image I had of a sidecar was a URAL rig or something out of a WWII movie. Then he made the remark that "with a sidecar, you could bring your dog along with you". Being a dog person (and very cheap), I'll admit that it saddens me to leave the dog at the kennel when we go away for a few days of riding... It saddens me even more when we go to pick her up and have to pay the bill! But again, doesn't a sidecar equate to little more than riding a three-wheeled car (i.e. no leaning). Not necessarily, there's a company out of Switzerlan called ARMEC that manufactures a sidecar that allows you to lean. This is achieved through an ingenious bottom-mount. This is a very interesting option for me, as it would not only allow me to bring the dog along, but also add about 120 liters of luggage space. The great part is that it can be removed from the bike in about 10 minutes with little more than an adjustable spanner. Oh yeah, did I mention that it also costs an arm and a leg? Oh well, maybe someday...

"The more people I meet the more I like my dog." - Unknown

Travel Videos... And Other Ways To Bore Your Friends!

I've just recently bought a DVD-Burner - nice little gizmo really. Now I can take boring home movies and import them into the computer, add a menu, soundtrack and some transition effect and subtitles with some handy-dandy software that came with the burner, only to finally realize that they're still nothing more than boring home movies with a bit of bling! Let's face it; most events that make it into your Handycam are usually of the "had-to-be-there" variety. When taken out of context, the viewer will most likely fall into a daze or self-induced coma to make your 2-hour video memories of the summer cottage tolerable!

Here are a few tips that can make your home DVD's a little more interesting:

1. Keep length of clips to a minimum. Your viewer doesn't need to see all two and a half hours of little Tommy's choir recital to figure out that A) Tommy looked cute in his suit, and B) Tommy can't sing. Try to use the best bits; usually no more than 30 seconds per clip. This keeps things moving and thus can prevent viewer-coma.
2. Mix media. When traveling abroad, I always try to buy some CD's of local musicians playing some traditional music (folk songs are great). Add this as a background track to a video montage; this way the viewer discovers not only the sights but also the sounds of the region. We've all heard the saying that "a picture is worth a thousand words" - use it! Try to alternate between brief video clips (15 to 30 seconds) and still pictures (5 seconds) with an audio background track.
3. Add ambiance. If you can swing it; get a small digital audio recorder (some MP3 players have a built-in microphone that allows you to record). This will allow you to pick-up some ambient sounds that you can use as an audio track to strengthen narration. A simple voice-over gets boring mighty quick, but if you add some ambient sounds it lends more depth to the narration. A two-minute loop is usually sufficient for an audio recording.
4. Subdivide. Try to subdivide your DVD into different subjects, with each "Chapter" no more than 15 - 20 minutes in length. For a road-trip, each "Chapter" can be a different area that was visited.
5. Don't overdo it!!! Just because the software lets you add scrolling titles, fold-over transitions, lighting effects and mondo-reverb doesn't necessarily mean that your viewer wants to see and hear it! In video montage, the KISS rule definitely applies (Keep It Simple, Stupid!).

As a last tip, here's some simple etiquette: don't assume that guests want to see your home movies! If a certain subject comes up in conversation (the lost art) like Little Tommy's Choir Recital - then suggest that you have a brief clip. If your guests are bored after 5 minutes, shut it down... PLEASE!

"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

Why Hate Change?

We're a funny bunch, us humans. So full of contradictions are we that we'll walk up to the pulpit and preach the merits of a certain technology, only to turn around and condemn that very same tool a few minutes later. I'm speaking, more specifically, about the love/hate relationship we seem to have with technology. I think it has to do with the duality of being addicted to technology and its fast paced evolution, while still longing for "the good 'ole days of yore" when things were simpler, quieter and less stressful. Call it nostalgia; which is synonymous with "selective memory".

Many motorcyclists suffer from this same affliction. On one hand, we're in love with new technologies when applied to our cars. Many of us drive European and Japanese cars and trucks loaded to the hilt with options and goodies like ABS brakes, anti-skid sensors, HID headlights, dual-stage passenger sensing airbags, and the list goes on and on. So why, as motorcyclists, are we so apprehensive when a manufacturer tries to adapt these same technologies to motorcycles?

I recently got a first hand look at motorcyclists' reactions to new technologies when Honda came out with an airbag-equipped GoldWing. Journalists and magazine writers gave their usual spiel of "interesting possibilities" and "a major step forward in motorcycle safety"; but in most cases they get important advertising dollars from manufacturers - so they can't simply come out and say "it’s a stupid idea"! John Q. Public, however, speaks his mind. On multiple forums, blogs and newsgroups, many motorcyclists were quick to pan Honda's idea, some even claiming that this will most likely result in more motorcycle deaths. All of a sudden, everyone's an expert. I even read a forum post where the writer was enumerating the many design flaws of the GoldWing's airbag system. When I questioned how he came about these conclusions, and had he actually had a first-hand look at the system, I was answered with the tired old "been riding for 200 years without any of these gadgets and we're better off without them 'cause they're all part of a government conspiracy to make us clones, blah, blah, blah". Human arrogance; ain't it great? Just about any motorcyclist has witnessed the dreaded "ABS Brakes" debate in two-wheeled circles. It goes like this: "A great motorcyclist can out-brake an ABS-equipped motorcycle with normal brakes". This, I believe, is absolutely true. But how many of us are up to par with Pascal Picotte, Miguel Duhamel or Valentino Rossi? Funny thing is that these same anti-ABS bikers would never consider buying a new car or truck without ABS.

I remember having a similar conversation with my grandfather (86 years young). To paraphrase him, all this nostalgia about things being better years ago is nothing more than "a pile of fresh manure". He remembers tires that would blow for no apparent reason, engines that would overheat when going up a minor grade, cars that wouldn't start in winter when the temps got too cold, 8 miles to the gallon, brakes that would lock up, hydroplaning and losing control, etc. When asked if he would like to have his old 1948 GMC truck back instead of his Camry, he glares at me with that you're-too-young-and-stupid grin, and says "Hell, NO!"

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas N. Adams

Perhaps I am a Bear.

Saturday night signaled a momentous yearly occasion - first snow. Although we didn't get much (only a few centimeters), it stuck; unlike some years when we get a "teaser" snowfall that melts away within a few hours. To me, the first snowfall is a trigger for many events, like the holiday season. It seems that the holidays just aren't right without some of the white stuff. I tried running away to Florida a few years ago for Christmas; but it ended up feeling too foreign. Palm trees and egg-nog by the poolside just weren't meant to go together.

Another event triggered by first snow is the dreaded motorcycle hibernation. It's that time of the year when thousands of motorcyclists shine-up their iron horses, take out the battery, make sure the fluids are topped off, and put them away for a long winter's nap. Not particularly my favorite thing to do.

I enjoy motorcycling so much that I dream about it... in winter doubly so! But for the lucky few who have their motorcycle stored in a heated garage or workshop: winter 'tis also the season for farkling. What better time to fool around with the latest accessories, toys, gizmos and gadgets in an ever increasing desire to build the ultimate ride. On my project list: re-upholstered seat, touring windshield, adjustable passenger pegs, and maybe some LED turn signals.

If you're looking for me, I'll be in the garage.

"Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Sweet Temptation

Did something stupid yesterday... On my way home from work, I decided to stop by the BMW/Yamaha dealership because they're having a "Moving Sale" and all riding gear was half-price (and I need some new gloves). Got some nice gloves (only $34) and was on my way out when I ran into one of the sales reps. I'd met the guy a few times before, and we started talking. Eventually, I asked him what his current ride was (an obligatory question among motorcyclists) and he pointed to a BMW K1200LT luxo-tourer in the middle of the showroom. This surprised me because: (a) he's young, about 25, and (b) he had just mentioned how he likes to ride "agressively".

Curiousity finally got the best of me when he pulled the keys out of his pocket and casually asked: "You wanna try it?" Now this 2-wheeled yacht isn't really my type of bike - but when someone offers you a $30,000 bike for a test ride with no strings attached... Why not?

Just by sitting on the BMW I could tell that this was radically different to my little 650cc Suzuki. First word that comes to mind? Comfortable - think "easy chair with wheels". Second word? Intimidating - this thing was huge! Honestly though, once you get it over 10km/h the weight disappears.

Handling city traffic was a bit daunting at first, as I'm well accustomed to my über-flickable V-Strom, but I eventually got used to it. Where this motorcycle really shines is on the highway - I could literally ride for hours and hours without even requiring a "butt-break" typical to most other motorcycles. I also finally understood what the salesguy meant by "agressive" riding. Not only does this bike go fast; it does so without your knowledge. I was cruising along at what seemed like a nice leisurely pace until I glanced down at the speedo and saw the needle hovering over 160km/h. Took in a few backroads and the bike handled suprisingly well. Steep lean angles were not only possible, but fun!

Alas, all good things must end, and I finally brought it back to the dealer (with a mile-wide smile on my face). For now, a premium-priced bike is way out of my budget... But someday, maybe?

Choose your wheels wisely.

Those of you who know me are aware that I'm not the biggest fan of a certain American V-Twin engined motorcycle manufacturer. Understand that my distaste is not directed towards the owners of these heavy chrome beasts - fact is, some of the nicest folks I've met at rallies ride an FXLRHTSCXR (or whatever...). It's just that I feel that these bikes are all show and no go and the whole company is based on a marketing campaign that abuses tried and true blind patriotism rather than being based on the machines themselves. [OK - rant mode off]

Anyhow, a good friend of mine (let's call him Bob) purchased an Ultra Classic Electra Glide with all the trimmings last year. By the time he finished adding the obligatory "Genuine HD" bling, "Screaming Eagle" strait pipes (ugh), Corbin saddle, official jacket & beanie helmet, and opting for the extended warranty (good idea), his fully-faired chrome beast cost him - get ready for this - $39,500CDN! Yup - that's enough to buy 2 equivalent Japanese cruisers with plenty of change to spare. Did I tell him he was crazy? Of course. Did he listen? Nope.

Before continuing with his story, I want to make it clear that I never rubbed his nose in it or even gave him a subtle "I told ya so". Bob is, after all, my friend and it's just a bike (albeit, a damn expensive one).

Here's how it's gone for him so far:

• Motorcyclists in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia have a favorite weekend getaway known as the "Island Run". Basically, we ride over to Prince Edward Island and run the whole circumference; using every possible backroad to stay as close as possible to the shoreline. Last year, just one month and a half after having gotten his HD, Bob calls me up and says "How about an Island Run this weekend?". Of course, I couldn't resist! So we left Friday after work, riding along Highway 15 towards the Confederation Bridge when I see Bob and Tammy (his wife) pull off to the shoulder. I check for traffic and pull a U-turn to go see what happened. The bike has died! No warning, no oil leak, nothing - its just dead. Pull-out the cellphone and call the HD dealer in Moncton for some guidance, and after being on hold for 12 minutes (no kidding) one of the mechs comes on and says - get this: "It could be anything; he shouldn't have been riding it so long so soon after buying it... It's a new bike, you know!" WTF? Couldn't believe it! This guy is trying to throw the blame on Bob for actually trying to tour on what HD considers to be their top-of-the-line touring mount. And believe me, it's not as if we were pushing it in any way - just a nice slow touring pace... Oh well; they send a truck to pick up Bob's bike and that was the end of our Island Run - without even making it to the Island. Seems his battery had gone bad (of course, it wasn't covered by the warranty).
• Earlier this year, Bob decided to go to Laconia for the Annual Bike Week. I wasn't tagging along this time (couldn't get off work), so he was riding with some of the usual Crazy Bastards(TM), my usual bunch of riding buddies. This time, he actually made it as far as Fredericton (about 200kms/125miles) before he noticed a huge puff of blue smoke behind him and the oil pressure gauge heading south really fast. Again: phone call, towing, back to the dealer in Moncton, wait to get it fixed, leave again the next morning. Bob told the other guys to go ahead and not wait for him - which they did (he was the only one, out of 12, who was riding an HD and he felt bad about holding everybody up). Bob and Tammy ended up riding 12 hours strait to get to Laconia and catch up with the rest of the gang.
• Two weeks ago Bob went to Cape Breton to do the Cabot Trail after I told him how great a ride it was (I went earlier in July). Everything went fine, until he was on his way back home and stopped because of some road construction near Amherst. He's at a complete stop, pulls his left foot off the floorboard to shift into neutral, and his foot is left searching in mid-air for the shifter - it was hanging below the bike! Of course, this wouldn't normally be a big deal for other motorcyclists: you pull off to the side, get out the toolkit and tighten the bugger up. Only one problem with HD's: no toolkit included! Believe it or not, even the toolkit is an "HD Genuine" option. Here's the funny bit; Bob rolled all the way back to Moncton (80kms/50miles) in second gear, pulled up to the HD dealer, walked into the showroom (Saturday morning - the place was full), and began a-hollerin'. This time (after a long, animated chat with Deeley Canada - the official Canadian distributor), they agreed to take the bike in and do a complete inspection (I've seen the invoice - 4 pages).

Well, Bob's bike finally got a clean bill of health. Now it's for sale - any takers?

Respect the Two-Wheeled Traveler

There's an unwritten code among motorcyclists: respect is shared among two-wheeled aficionados only if you can prove you are worthy of it.

I've mentioned before that I don't really "fit-in" with most motorcycle clubs. I ride what marketing types have labelled an "Adventure-tourer"; in other words, a motorcycle built for long distance travel over various types of terrain. I'm not limited by the boundaries of asphalt roads and highways; dirt and gravel suit me fine. My bike has a large fuel capacity, which allows me to cover about 600kms before taking a break to fuel-up (which I often do). Because this whole adventure touring thing isn't really the norm here in North America, I often get strange looks from the "Biker" crowd... They don't really know what to make of me and my too-tall half-faired steed. The squids sort've brush me off too; since they can't figure out what exactly it is I'm riding. This all suits me fine, as I didn't get into motorcycling for the "cool" factor.

What I have found, however, is that most motorcyclists - regardless what flavour of bike they're riding - tend to show some curtesy and respect when I meet them. Maybe this is because they can tell by looking at my setup that I'm not just in it for "show". The tankbag, sidecases and topcase, GPS, heated grips and full rider gear are there because I need them; they all serve their intended purpose. I log some serious miles on my bike; often doing over 1200kms per day. For some reason, other motorcyclists respect this, and I've often found myself sitting with the leather-chaps-with-fringe crowd at a roadside diner in some forgotten town.

Here's my personal breakdown of motorcyclists according to what they ride:

• Harley Davidson: You'll meet really great people who ride Harleys. You'll also meet complete assholes who are nothing more than poseurs. The nice folks are almost always the ones who actually ride. The assholes are the ones who add bling and trailer their precious chrome collections to rallies.
• Crotch Rockets: You'll meet really great people who ride sport bikes. You'll also meet complete assholes who are nothing more than poseurs. The nice folks are almost always the ones who actually ride. The assholes are the ones who spend thousands trying to get an extra 7hp out of their precious inline-4's and carry dyno charts in their wallet to prove it.
• Luxury Tourers (Goldwing, K1200LT, etc.): You'll meet really great people who ride luxury tourers. You'll also meet complete assholes who are nothing more than poseurs. The nice folks are almost always the ones who actually ride. The assholes are the ones ride but somehow believe that the fact that they paid the price of a small house for their two-wheeled Camry gives them the right to be whiney geriatric diaper-fillers.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

Rule of thumb: be good to your fellow motorcyclist. Doesn't matter what you ride - as long as you ride.

Bits & Pieces

Last Sunday I'm on my way back home to Moncton after having spent the holiday weekend riding through every backroad and coastal route I could find in the Acadian Peninsula (Northeastern New Brunswick, Canada) with my wife riding pillion. Everything about that weekend had been perfect: the weather was sunny with little wind, traffic had been generally light, the bike was performing flawlessly, heck - some of the roads had even been given a fresh layer of asphalt!

Back to Sunday afternoon. We've just left Miramichi after a nice lunch of liver & onions for me, and club sandwich for my wife (she can't stand liver). Traffic is a bit heavier now as most of the weekend's travellers are, like us, heading back home. I'm getting ready to pass a slow moving dumptruck when a small rock about the size of a gumball gets thrown up from under the truck's rear left tire and hits me right on the edge of my helmet visor. CRACK! I finish passing the truck, get a safe distance in front of him, then pull over at a convenience store to see how badly damaged my helmet is.

My inspection reveals that the visor has broken on the right side near the hinge, but the helmet itself seems to be without a scratch. I grab the roll of duct tape from under the seat and do my best MacGyver job of fixing the damage so I can get home without eating bugs (didn't have a spare visor - my mistake).

On Monday, after work, I stop by the motorcycle shop where I bought the helmet to order a new visor. The parts guy checks something in the computer, frowns, then makes a few phone calls and frowns some more. "The visor isn't available anymore" he says. My first reaction is confusion, I just bought these helmets last year (two of 'em - his and hers) and at that time they were current stock in the distributor's catalog! How can they discontinue the visor for a helmet they were selling just a few months ago? Kevin, the parts guy, sees my frustration (why are service guys always named Kevin?). I explain to him that I understand this isn't his fault - but I'm pissed-off with the distributor for crappy service. He dials the number and lets me speak to one of the reps at the distributor's office. She tells me that they dropped the helmet from their line because of poor sales - which is total bunk. Kevin tells me that they sold at least 30 of these helmets last year! The distributor is unapologetic. Asshole!

To make up for the situation (although it really isn't his fault), Kevin talks to the sales manager, then returns and offers me any helmet in the store at dealer cost. Talk about going above and beyond! I chose a new flip-up helmet (similar to what I had), ordered a spare visor for it, and of course - I made sure it came from a different distributor.

This weekend, I'll be burning my old helmet... Just for fun!